Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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