You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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