At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
