if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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