did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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