You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
