definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
