Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
