That's intense
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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