I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize