just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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