Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
