I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
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