Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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