Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I'm bleeding and have questions
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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