Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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