The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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