I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
