If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
