Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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