I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Randomize