Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
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