I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
