But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
