I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
He did a backflip because drugs
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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