idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
