At least make sure they are 18
Why
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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