Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
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