at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
