seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
