Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
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