I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
