I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
