and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
