So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
