Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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