Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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