its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
