the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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