Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
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