just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
