did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
