Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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