Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Randomize