Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize