The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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