No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
