What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
