saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
My vagina just clenched in fear
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
