Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
My first STD was from a foam party
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
My breasts were aching with rage.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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