I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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