Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I will die if light touches me.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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