She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
