drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
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