I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
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