yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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