In the future we'll all be gay
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize