god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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