Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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