You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize