I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
