On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
