I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Randomize
