Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
