Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
