i just had sex bonerless
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
