and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize