is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
