Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
