Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
