I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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