Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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