he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Randomize
