One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
the day after is always just damage control
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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